Today I have three photos from my birthday, which are waiting for a week now to get shared.
I’ve been some kind of lazy lately, concentrated on my guitar homework and only the most important to-do’s.
Being lazy actually means trying to keep my feet still and recover. Yet about three weeks ago I said in a post that it is hard for me to just do nothing. I constantly feel the need to do something productive and that I waste valuable time, current circumstances are to blame. Unfortunately I’m totally leached out, so it’s time for me to learn spending time chilling on the couch without feeling guilty. Those who read my blog for longer know I took care of my Grandmother for three years untill she had something like a stroke at the beginning of this year and I had to give her into a nursing home. Since the stroke she got more and more demented…
So I come to terms with two kinda things. The three years care taking on one side. On the other side all what I got to see this year and that I guess was toooo much… just recently she was in hospital again. Her state of health has worsened a lot over the last month. Nothing is left of the Grandma I knew and loved when I was a child. This picture of her I had in my mind got its first deep scratches after about a year of care taking, then she got the stroke and was a totally different person and on top of that I got to see some (more) dark sides of her while Mom and I cleared out her flat.
Of course this needs time to settle. And along I learn to accept the existence of my vulnerable sides, the fact that a flower isn’t as hard as a rock – what a luck that she smells good.
Now a poor transition back to my birthday photos, lol. Such a heavy subject and then back to a happy day and sunny photos. Is that a character of my blog? :p
I had enough time to think about whether I share them or not, and still want to. The photo of myself I made all alone, using the automatic release. Me, the roses and the gifts I got from my Mom.
P.s. Didn’t 2 of my readers said that they take/took care too? How are you doing? Are you going through similar adjusting processes?
P.s.s. I updated this page: Writer