April ~ New Land

Welcome dear reader

It’s hard for the first time, to write in english. All ideas which cross my mind are formulated in my native language, german. It’s a good thing in some way. It came from a state of tension, my drive to be able to speak english as if it was my native language. That now came, in the last three months, to full bloom in intensive practice and ended two weeks ago. Like a rocket shooting into the sky, full power, full speed – then it comes to its glory, fulfillment – and disappears, fades. That’s how you could picture lived potential, a made experience. What remains is a void – is peace.

At the beginning of last month, I promised you a surprise. I had no clue what this feeling meant exactly. The idea my mind made up is: a surprise should be a header which is compleeetely different from what I posted before. Like leaving this “I code” my photos have behind and finding a new me in the pics look.
Now I happened to travel on sunday, but not to make photos and so I made only very few, not even enough for a gallery. I’m so happy right now that I found one shot which describes my current feeling for this month perfectly: new land.
That’s where I stood. On new land. In such a breath taking silence. A big bumblebee hovering close to the ground searching something to explore made such a loud noise – it cut through the silence. I live in a bigger city, next to a busy street. This experience of such silence after such long time was overwhelming.

Well, now I don’t know if my mind’s idea of the new header came true, but what I know is that the surprise happened in so many many ways. Example, I dropped my name “Fillandra”. You might have read this post and wonder what now. Well I still love this name, my mother still calls me by it, as well as by my “real name”. It is like the “image” of the rocket I described above, a drive which came hand in hand with a state of tension simply fell off after it was lived to the fullest – I let go of the attachments.
I came up with some ideas for a new artist name. But well, names are just titles, labels – not everything really needs to be labeled.
The last header, I will miss it cuz I loved it, described my march so perfectly. Revolution, transformation, explosion – boom!
This maybe will remain in some way, but now it officially is new land.

With Love and Inspiration
Yours, the transformative writer 😉

© Transformative Writer

P.s. this is my 99th post 😉

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10 thoughts on “April ~ New Land

      • Well Fill, the art of conversation is lost without names. “I was talking to ******* on the phone this morning and she told me that ******* will meet me at noon…….etc.” We all have names for identification, otherwise we may as well be talking gibberish. Books, stories etc. would be unreadable, incomprehensible. Using someone’s name shows interest in the person, is polite and helps with bonding. Everyone has a name Buddha, Hitler, Mickey Mouse without which communication is pointless.

      • Sorry Fill. I would like to add that I understand where you are at. The null-zone, the “I am”, at a point of peace. When you come through that you will realise that you are a different Fill, the same person, but with a different way of thinking. Many years ago I went through that stage and I changed dramatically for the better I hope. Have a lovely day. It’s raining hard here so blogging may take precedent over housework 😀

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