It’s been a long break from posting on here. Whenever this happens it’s mostly because a hurricane of change and transformation is rushing through my energetic system, causing confusion,strong emotions and bringing up shadows to heal. Because I have no calm position to overview my situation from, I feel insecure to publish anything/am unable to write posts.
I felt quite burned out in the past weeks, had major emotional ups and even more downs. My circuit was weak, I had to fight to not faint a couple of times and felt so weird in general that I went to my doc. I cried a lot, I wracked my brain to find solutions for my situation, yet couldn’t make myself a vibrational match to them. I write more about this struggle in another post. Only so much, it’s about my future. Even though I don’t want to go a conventional path, I have to earn money too because that’s how it still is in this world… (dreaming of my blog being a way for this by the way)
About a week ago then I had an emotional break trough. I came home from friends late and went to bed. I had pain everywhere in my body and couldn’t sleep. I breathed into the pain and went into meditation to face my emotions. I started to panic and felt overwhelmed, so I turned to Babaji – who is by my side spirit wise since I’m a little child – to ask for support, but a big black something rushed at me and made me panic even more. I realized he did this to make me overcome my false believe of being able to manage my life without asking for what my inner child is longing for: Help, support and healing from Mama.
My heart pounded wildly, I felt as if I was about to collapse and went to moms room on my knees without thinking about it.
She wasn’t mad about me waking her up at all, the times where she was so burned out that she didn’t have energy to help me are long gone and I don’t have to be strong anymore. She gave me Reiki healing and went to bed again. When I tried to sleep once again it came to the surface, my inner child crying for Mama. I cried my heart out and went back to her. I cried it all out in her arms and felt in that moment already how everything began to shift and rocks of weight fell off from me. The next day I could tell the difference, my circuit improved as well.
I felt ready for all the good things ahead.
On Saturday the 22nd my fiancé and I went on a Casper (german musician) concert in Dortmund. It was my second concert I’ve ever been to and it was beautiful.
On monday then I got on the train up to the north to visit my family at the baltic sea. Here I still am, feeling my roots, seeing how much I’ve grown, evolved and healed in the now almost 6 years I live in Wiesbaden.
On monday I arrived late, tuesday was a family day, wednesday/yesterday I finally had time to grab my camera and walk around in my hometown Heiligenhafen. That’s another post 🙂 stay tuned 😉
Blessings of inspiration and healing ❤