Authenticity and Life Choices

I’ll confront a believe pattern of mine now.

Smoking is something I hide from the “spiritual” people I look up to in a way. And so it’s something I never mentioned on this blog, because I fear to loose my face. Ironically I usually say that I don’t have a face to loose.
Of course smoking is nothing to be proud of, nothing I want to promote – cigarettes are unhealthy!

The point of this post is, that I don’t want to be afraid to be open and show who I am and what I choose to experience in life.
I chose to try this. This doesn’t make me less “spiritual”, less conscious, less a good soul.

When I started this blog, I’ve made it my mission to share positive vibes. My mind made this mean “share the diamonds and leave out the dirt”. But in the meantime I’ve learned, that good vibes are not defined by what things look like but only the vibes itself and nothing else. So you can spread a good vibration by “airing your dirty laundry” as well.
We are all human and not needing to fear to be authentic about the experiences you choose to make is something I feel is great and important to speak up about.

I’m like a passionate scientist/explorer with my life experiences  – shadow or light, I intend to watch and feel as conscious as I can and to really dive for the pearl = the essence of the experience. That’s what makes me able to just let go as soon as I feel I found all I need to know about something.

Last week I started a homeopathic treatment, my doc advised me meds due to something (nothing tragic no worries ❤ ). And because homeopathic meds work with energy/vibration, you’re advised to leave out unhealthy influences, such as alcohol, cigarettes and caffeine.
I drastically reduced my smoking, still intending to stop (trickier than I thought, as the daily stress doesn’t stop along). And the rest I leave out as well of course.
This does, again, provide totally new pearls to dive for and reflect on.

I’m thankful that I’ve been patient with myself and this post idea, yet kept working on it and held the idea alive till the flower opened and the inspiration came out with the right vibration. In the past I’ve given up way to early in such situations.

Much Love ❤


14 thoughts on “Authenticity and Life Choices

  1. I like a cigar once in awhile. I don’t inhale, of course – they’re way too strong for that! I’d say if you like/want/need cigarettes, smoke the best quality you can afford – all tobacco if possible as the commercial varieties have MANY other things in them that are not healthy. That way you’re getting the nicotine your body is used to, it’s as healthy as possible, and I’ve been told you need fewer cigarettes each day since they are fairly potent compared to the commercial cigarettes. I found some alleged user info about American Spirit
    at this link. They’re made by RJ Reynolds – one of the big shots on the planet for tobacco products – not that that is a bad or good thing – just sayin’. Maybe there are some Turkish brands – I don’t know.

    • Hey thanks for your reply ❤ 🙂

      Yes you're right. I'm educated about that. In commercial cigarettes is a lot of chemistry and medicine, like antidepressants, cough meds, aroma, stuff to make you more addicted etc. Also they contain animal components and are tested on animals. I buy vegan organic tabacco.
      Thanks for caring ❤

      Blessings ॐ

      • Oh dear, I hear you!

        You are right. I rarely smoke, anymore, and never “needed” it. But I would enjoy a cigarrette (without inhaling), occasionally. On the rare occasions, when I get the holy pipe out, I, of course, do still smoke. Or when Kim has one of his cigars. Then I sometimes take a puff.

        Regarding the fear of drugs:
        I think, some of us have to go out and get our own picture of things.

        I puffed cigarettes, I did hang out with people my parents had warned me about, I had unhealthy relationships and I know what it means to be really drunk.
        And although I always knew that I had to to what I had to do, I only now begin to understand that it all was for a deeper meaning, for deep insights I otherwise would have missed.

        Not that I would recommend such a lifestyle. It can be very straining. But I know that we have to follow our path and that it sometimes leads us to dark places and that darkness is nothing bad but a part of the whole.

        (Man, that reply became longer than I intended…)

      • Exactly!!! That’s what it is for me just an experience in order to grow. I understand that my mom was scared I get lost in such things, but these days I know I’m not at high risk to get addicted at all because I know why I live and I’m to busy following my heart to get stuck like that. Meeting addicted people was quite a shock at the beginning. It’s something that was hard to feel into and understand for me. It still makes me sad but I know it’s also just an experience that souls choose to make.


  2. Dear Fillandra,

    Thank you for your courage to share more authenticity.

    I’ve been diving deep for some pearls, too, and often felt like this is somethig I cannot share in the “spiritual circles”. Eventually, I did it anyway… Just that I had a feeling that there was not really an understanding for the fact, that diving deep can be an important experience and that it is a valid choice. After a while I began to meet other people with similar experiences like mine. Only a few. But we are finding each other. ❤

    Fortunately the times are changing and the spiritual awareness that once was something only few had becomes more and more part of the everyday-life of many. I believe, sharing our "authentic faces" is a big part of this movement.

    Much love,

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