In a moment of happiness, let me tell you: you get what you ask for.
I’ve been asking for a certain feeling, a certain inspiration, someone I can share authenticity, and my happiness and simple, honest being-ness with, my whole life.
My mind had made up a lot of stories of why I didn’t get it.
Not getting your desires fulfilled is so painful, your mind needs a reason to explain why you possibly “don’t deserve” it.
But in reality you will get it to the very right time. The time it falls like water and sun on your field of seeds and helps you to blossom.
The time you’re actually open. We all hated our parents when they told us it’s not the right time for something (mostly because they thought we were too young) but there is some truth to it. There is always a reason for when something doesn’t happen or work out. Either we’re not truly ready and subconsciously sabotaging ourselves (like in the following example) or the universe simply knows there is a better time for it to happen (or both).
In my times of wanting and waiting, I had a lot of time to fantasize about who this person would be and how he/she would be like. Which isn’t wrong in itself. Phantasy is this awesome tool that let’s you experience something that isn’t physically there, but yet it makes it reality, because you feel it. But that’s about it, what phantasy is meant for. Because openly feeling something creates it (or more of it) in your reality.
Images are just ideas, made up by the mind. And the mind gets attached to them, but that lures you away from the essence of that feeling.
Even though I kinda knew that (rationally knowing something doesn’t keep you from experiencing and feeling through a process), I got attached to those ideas. And in my desperate situation of feeling incomplete, I started wondering what compromises I would have to make, to find that person in somebody. And the worst question of all: Who would I have to be in order to find that person?
Those questions, I was asking myself (rather subconsciously), lead me to a lot of people and a lot of good and bad experiences and that taught me a hellalot about life.
One day I just sat somewhere becoming myself again and I saw a person (who always is at this place, at this time, making art), being himself too. As someone empathetic as I am, I feel people’s energy and I can tell when someone has a pure and open heart. And I had those old thoughts coming up, about who I need to be to deserve talking to that person. But I pushed those thoughts out of my head and focused back on myself and what I wanted to achieve for myself: being authentic and free from those ideas.
But being me, was just the right thing, for what feels like the first time of my life. From then on, we are just ourselves when we meet. It’s nothing but a pure energetic connection from heart to heart. It’s just what I asked for.
And even more than that, this person inspires me and strengthens me in finding myself and finding trust in my dreams/goals.
People who know Love for what it is, pure cosmic energy, are rare (in my experience). And I’m happy that there is another artist out there that I can share just that with.
Relationships, ideas, expectations, physical attraction… all those things scare the hell out of me, because I don’t know what I’m at (if the person doesn’t themself to some degree). At this point of my life, nothing makes me more happy than knowing where to find someone who doesn’t scare me. Someone I can just be myself with, and get back the same simplicity and honesty at heart. It’s just incredibly healing to know every time I go there, I go home feeling better, feeling inspired and like I know a bit better who I am and what I can give to this world.
Now, standing on my balcony, listening to the rain drops and the owls having a conversation from one side of the forest to the other (sounds so sweet *-*), I felt like sharing this.
If you follow your feeling, you’ll create it. What if’s and “because this is wrong with me”-thoughts are symptoms of your situation, they are not a reason to rate your life on how good or bad it is.
You deserve your desires being met (kinda a Teal Swan quote, not sure if it’s word on word though).
Have a great time
May big wings carry you ❤