I was given the reminder, that I’m over thinking instead of paying attention to what my heart has to say.
So, with my favor for philosophical musing, I sat down and asked ‘What is that, what my heart has to say?’. You might have guessed: my mind doesn’t know the answer. So it turned to the heart: ‘Heart, speak!’. Silence filled my inner room.
Compared to my mind, my heart doesn’t answer with a wave of well sounding, but empty words or stories. It might answer with silence. That can be frustrating to the mind. My mind then says: ‘Well, if you don’t speak, may I continue to fill the silence with something?’ Silence is wasted time, it thinks.
But that’s wrong! The silent presence of the heart might be the most precious thing in existence.
There is something, the mind doesn’t understand, and that is, that there is something beyond words.
For me, as a writer, going beyond words, by turning to the heart, is a challenge and important practice. Which I abandoned, while chasing words, always making sure that I have something to say.
But it’s not the choice of words, that make a writer relatable. It’s the worlds beyond words and thought, that an artist is able to travel in and then transfer through word or craft, as good as possible, which reaches people’s heart (here is the heart again!).
I got very sick and depressed, when I read some of my old writings, which are branded by the fact that I run from a lot of emotions, by thinking my way around and away from them… And I almost lost trust in my talent.
There is no way around being present with my heart. And the only way that is possible, is to stop differentiating my emotions between good and bad.
There is no such thing as right and wrong, when it comes to the authentic expression of the heart.
By allowing the pleasant feelings and trying to push away the unpleasant, I split my heart and now it’s sad, because I’m rejecting parts of myself.
So sitting with my silent heart and being patient, helps it to regain trust in speaking its authentic message. (I’m not gonna lie, as simple as this sounds, it feels like the hardest thing in the world.)
Not knowing, what my heart wants to tell me, is like not knowing all the stuff I store in my basement. That can happen over the years, but it shows that I collected baggage that slows down my process of growth and weighs me down.
Reuniting with my heart is same as self-loving, as decluttering my basement. And it’s a path to a more grounded, happy and authentic life. It effects everything.
May big wings carry you! ❤
My newest painting 🙂